Adam and Beth’s Wedding *Introduce myself * Adam and Beth have asked me to do a little talk at their wedding ceremony. And they asked me to base the talk around one of his favourite quotes. It’s from the film “Good Will Hunting”. And the quote is: “You’re not perfect, sport, and let me save you the suspense: this girl you’ve met, she’s not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you’re perfect for each other. Firstly, I was massively relieved that Adam gave me something to base the talk on and around, as usually the talk is the time when someone imparts wisdom about married life and I’ve only been married about 4 weeks. So my wisdom about marriage is fairly limited! I can tell you that marriage is awesome, and that’s about it! Although it’s probably a relief to hear, now you’ve already tied the knot! But this quote is also really helpful to have as a focus for your wedding and for your marriage life, because it highlights many a truth that will help you in your life together.
So it is incredibly important to remember the first thing it tells you. Adam – you are not perfect. Beth – you are not perfect. You both know enough about life to know that this is key in ANY relationship, especially with each other. You are not perfect. You will make mistakes. You will be wrong. Your reactions to things will not always be right. Sometimes you’ll be snappy or selfish or stubborn or too passive or too bothered by things. You’ll say, do and think things wrong. As well as not saying or not doing those things you should.
And in that circumstance – you need to remember that you may very well not be in the right every time. And sometimes in relationships of any kind, the 3 words that hold it together are not “I Love You”, but “I am sorry”. And I bet you’ll find that pretty helpful to remember over time. Neither of you are perfect. But that works the other way. Adam – Beth is not perfect. Beth – Adam is not perfect. Remember that as you kick off your married life. It really will help. Don’t have any false expectations of each other.
It can be very easy for people to enter into relationships and marriages expecting amazing, Hollywood-esque things and to then be hugely disappointed and for that to cause tensions. So right off the bat, don’t enter into this marriage with any great expectations – except the expectation of what you intend to give. And what you should intend and expect to give is unconditional love. All the time. Even when the other person is demonstrating their imperfections we’re admitting you have. Because the time when either of you 2 will need Love the most is the time that you least deserve it.
And it is then that you’ll need to remember this quote. Because you know that Love is not just a feeling of the heart. It is a decision, not just an emotion. And on those occasions when one of you has demonstrated your imperfections, you need to remember to decide to love each other. That’s what you’ve done here today. You’ve decided to Love each other. Forever. So we’ve agreed. Neither of you are perfect! Which is a very strange start for a wedding talk! But you chose the quote… not me! However, anyone that knows you knows how perfect you are for each other.