Somebody once said that children come to us as a blank slate, ready for us to write instructions upon them regarding life and how to live it. Children are the human equivalent of clay, putty, in the hands of their creator, that is, their parents. As such, children have no idea about where their life is headed or how to get there. It is not fair of some adults to view children as mini-me’s who should be far wiser and intelligent than their actual life years. They do not know anything about the realities of life and how to deal with it. Therefore, it is not fair for any parent to tell a child that he or she will never amount to anything.
Children do not understand a lot of things because they need people who will be patient in explaining things to them and patient with their shortcomings as they develop their independence and comprehension abilities. A child is incapable of doing many things that adults take for granted because they can do it with much ease and little thought. A child is limited in what he can achieve by his age, lack of experience, and safety factors. These are hindrances that adults have already learned to overcome or get around in order to accomplish something. The inability of a child to perform as a adult does not mean that he will be a failure or never accomplish anything when he finally comes of age as an adult. Besides, parents must know by now that children learn to emulate examples. Therefore a child who is told that he will never amount to anything is a reflection mostly on the failure of the parents in his adult life more than anything else.
Parents often berate their children by telling them that they will never amount to anything out of sheer exasperation at times. It is their way of shaming their children into pushing themselves to the limit of their abilities and in the end, they hope the child will accomplish the task that has been set before him. Believe me when I say that a parent who instead shows the child patience and understanding gets farther in controlling their children and directing them towards the success the parents wish to see them achieve. After all, you catch more bees with honey than vinegar.
Parents must realize that children look to them as their sole protectors. The only people they can come to in the world without being judged or pushed away. When a parent tells a child that he will never amount to anything, a child will see this as a sign that he has lost his parents love. An emotional and verbal abuse that no child can easily forget nor overcome. A child’s mother and father are the most powerful and influential figures in a child’s life. In fact, a child lives all his life trying to win his parents approval and love when he feels that his parents are not satisfied with his achievements in life. It is sad that parents do not understand how much their words can traumatize a child whether intentionally or non intentionally.
A child requires a loving hand as he navigates his way to adulthood. He does not need his parents to put him down during this early stage in his life when he is struggling to realize his potential as a person and slowly begin his ascent to personal achievements. Instead of telling a child that he will never amount to anything when he fails, a parent must instead feed the child’s soul and hope with calming words that show how much he is loved even if he fails in his quests. Instead of berating him, help him find his direction and keep on the track that will help him amount to something instead.
During the childhood of a person, he learns to build up his self confidence and try new things. The job of a parent during this stage is to help him or her achieve the perfect balance of self-esteem, emotional health, and personal empowerment because these are the factors that will aid a child in learning how to react to and deal with the many shortcoming that will come down their path before they actually reach the final desired outcome of “amounting to something in their lives.”
Consider that a child’s failure is his own shame because his peers will never let him live it down. It is a stigma he could carry all his life because his peers will never forget how he did not accomplish what he set out to do. They will judge him by his failures and he does not need his parents doing the same thing to him at home. He will feel bad enough for a very long time and does not need his parents to make him hurt by using those scathing words. Just as a parents words has the power to instill confidence in a child, so can the words of the parent crush a child’s sense of self worth. If a parent really wants his or her child to achieve or accomplish something in this world, then they have to realize that a child’s achievements and accomplishments can only be achieved through nurturing, encouragement, and uplifting words.
Parents must remember that they are the guardians of a child’s hope and dreams. It is not their job nor right to negate a child’s sense of self worth, destroy their beliefs in what they can achieve in life, nor belittle the child to the point that he loses self confidence. The worst kind of parent is the one who leaves a child feeling that he has lost his sense of self and everything that goes with what defines him as a person. Parents must realize that words have a direct impact on the children. It is a parent’s responsibility to bring out the best in the child. Not make them feel worthless and unimportant. After all, physical scars on a child may heal, but the emotional scars — children carry with them throughout their lives. After all, in the eyes of the public, the failure of the child is also the failure of the parent and no parent will ever want to admit they were a failure as parents or that they were bad parents right?